Tuesday, September 1, 2009

WHAT WAS GOD THINKING ...????????


U must have heard this many times....."EVERYTHING HAS A PURPOSE"...!! but long i ve been eluded by the statement ...i used to ask myself what it actually means coz in real life often times it used to appear pure bladder dash to me..I used to wonder ok...what purpose did the accident had in my life....what purpose was behind my failure in academics despite being one of the brightest minds of my batch.....what purpose was behind my relative's untimely deaths...or mayb i am too insignificant so what about bigger issues like....tsunami or earthquakes or terrorism.....coz sure if god is the creator... these things cudnt have appeared on their own...so why did he create all the things that we genuinly complain about....when as a kid i asked this to my dadi she jus said " यह तो भगवान् की लीला है वही जाने ..हम सब तोह बस उसके हाँथ की कथ्पुथ्लियाँ हैं " later i read shakespear saying sum similar words "All the world's a stage,And all the men and women merely players:They have their exits and their entrances;And one man in his time plays many parts....... "
Still not satisfied with the answer rather quite irritated at the fact that who gave this god the right to treat us like puppets for his mere entertainment....why would he put us in traumatic situations like natural calamities,catastrophies,emotional, mental ,physical torture...and yeah..the green stuff which is never enough...now dont get me started on money... i see people around me living a mechanical life working hard just to make ends meet and when indeed they do accumulate some wealth...BOOM comes an ailment or disease or accident and the savings just flow out....on the contrary i see people involved in unfair means of income prospering with b.m.w.'s and mansions and vaccations abroad ...and on the other side i see honest simple men sticking to their code of morals and living the most fundamental life which would only support a two time meal.....i just gotta feeling as if everything around me is unfair and useless without any purpose except some cynical god wanting to have his fun...for years i kept cursing every day hating myself for the helpless creature i was at the mercy of some insensitive god...

then i came across the logic in which our hindu mythology has long found its roots in...that we(souls) are merely rays of lights dissipated from the source that is GOD to bear the consequences of our karma and our ultimate destination is to be back to the source we dissipated from....n happiness and sorrows are 2 sides of the same coin LIFE and they occur in our life on the basis of the punya(good deeds) and paap(bad deeds) we do...

still the question remained unanswered....why were we sent into the cycle of birth and death if all we have to do is go back to the source...if we were so happy in the source then why in the first place we had to be seperated from the "eternal bliss of being one with him"...what was the purpose....
days....
weeks....
months.....
years.....
passed n passed... making me irritable useless lazy and disgusted with life and the icing on the cake was my successive failures in everything i did....which led to lack of will power n so i just cudnt take it anymore one day...... and so i decided that i will not live a life of doubt n trauma i will find out the answer....reading and reading and talking and becomming member of occult societies and exploring..... only to be lead to the same question over n over again...
untill one day i finally gave up and burst into tears and said..."GOD i surrender, i give up on my battle against you and ur ways i will just accept the trauma n i accept to be your puppet..." but to my amazement i actually heard a voice this time....a firm gentle loving voice as if it smiled at me with love and compassion i never experienced before...it said.."my dear child since now you have surrendered onto me ....have faith in me .....like the faith u have in a seed which is the promise of a forest"...n the voice mellowed down and for the first time after 9 years i had the most peaceful sleep at night...like the one i used to have wen i was an infant sleeping in my mother's lap......


to know what happened further.....and whether i got my answer... come back to my blog again tomorrow...i need more inspiration to word that feeling down.... love u all

CURIOUS ISHA

6 comments:

  1. yahi question mere dimag me bhi bahut baar aya hai and to add to ur confusion bhagwan ko kisne banaya ?. there must b somebody ruling him as well.

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  2. well anuj thnx for ur comment n patience for reading my thots...i will definitely try to answer it to the fullest of my potential...catch up widya later

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  3. are yaar pura padne ke baad to ab aage jaana jaroori ho gaya hai anyways u r questions to the allmighty seems very tricy and heard many times but i do never get answer for questions like this we might follow bhagwad gita but till we get the answer it will be tooooooooo late so don't mess up with these type of question.....bindaas jiyo source kya hai output kya hai main nahin janta
    wait for next comment

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  4. hmmm...thnx for ur precious comments and patience to read my blog....par bindass jeene ke liye hi yeh sab jaanana zaruri hai...thats what i think....catch up with me tomorrow...n thnx for ur bindass comments

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  5. All I can say is that we reap what we sow; it is us and us only who are responsible for our actions. God does not decide our fate but we do. God does not get any pleasure out of our miseries but does show us ways to end them. For all of us who cannot see God, what we need to do is listen to our conscience. Our conscience is God and if we listen to our conscience there shall be no tears.

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  6. of course....aapne laakh rupaye ki baat kahi haiiiiiii!!!!!!!!

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